Appreciation

I constantly surprise myself as well as let myself down. On one hand… Today was my MRI scan, now although the doctor sounded as though I didn’t need it I knew there was no doubt I wanted it. Living for 5 years with headaches, aches and pains I know I need it sorted. In the…

The balance

Constant, never-ending, hopeless.  I feel I am forever in a constant battle with Depression. A never ending story of up and down, happy and sad, positive and negative thoughts. Feeling hopeless to change. Its quite nice just shutting down and being quiet. Just spending time on my own to just think, makes me feel almost…

Taking a break

After a difficult 2015 of goodbyes a little time away from writing was needed. But I’m back.. And it’s already March! Already 2016 has been better, we now have a new addition to the family, a not so ‘little’ lurcher called Dobby. He has been a welcome distraction and a little happiness after a horrible…

Goodbye Auntie…

Woken up at 7am heart racing.. It was time. I had always known when the time came I didn’t want to be there watching her drifting away. Truth is I would never be able to get the image out of my head. I didn’t want my last image to be her struggling, I could just…

Only as you grow older..you tend to look back

The older I get the more I seem to hold onto all the great childhood memories I grew up with. I find myself looking back at photos of my childhood (at nearly 25 I know it wasn’t THAT long ago, but nearly 20 years have passed!). I could sit and go through pictures all day,…

My auntie.. Continued

It’ll be two weeks on Friday since we found out. Her speech is now gone, she still smiles and laughs but it’s harder. She looks at us sometimes like she doesn’t now what we’re saying or who we are. Only last week we walked into her room as she called out, arms open, so happy…

My auntie, the star

I don’t know what to say or what to do. Today we found out that my auntie will not be having an operation to remove her tumour because it wouldn’t help. It’s worse than they thought. She has been given 4 weeks to live. She is the happiest person I know always dancing about and…

Parents on social media?

That old saying ‘there goes the neighbourhood’ comes to mind, when something just ruins it all and it can never be the same. Today marks the day that both my parents are on Instagram… Not that bad? Dramatic you say? Hmm let’s review…

Facing my fears…

Standing near the edges, heights, water, tall buildings or stairs with gaps inbetween… These are a few of my least favourite things! I am the first to admit I am a bit of a scaredy cat, I worry about almost everything and I always think ‘what if’. The trait I have definitely had passed on…

I am me…

My name is Bethany. There will never be another me, I am unique. Everything about me is unique to me, my personality, the way my hair is, my eyes, face, traits, tattoos, relationships, my family, the way I talk and the way I am.

It’s back…

After doing so well for a while now, tonight I just feel down. Sat here crying like an idiot. I’ve known I will always flitter between good and feeling down but I really hate the down times.  Recently the trigger has been realising that I’m just here not doing anything. Everyone is moving on with…

The best and worst year…

Wicked the musical, Norway, Sweden, indoor skydiving, Edinburgh next week and possible holiday in August… These are quickly forgotten. Despite the many exciting things I have done this year it has been completely weighed down by two major changes in my life. On the 5th of July we lost my grandad. He had been poorly…